


When We Were Young

by fuckyouall



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:11:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5521574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckyouall/pseuds/fuckyouall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You look like a movie, you sound like a song. My God, this reminds me of when we were young.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When We Were Young

48 exact months since you’ve been gone to god knows where, so I don’t know who I’m writing to. I don’t really know if you’re ever coming back, but I hope you do.

Sam got married, you’d think he’d marry Jess, but they broke up after you left because Sam was falling apart and she couldn’t piece him back together, she couldn’t handle it anymore, but no one blames her. You obviously knew that my brother had a crush on Sam since they were 12, and he still does. They got married two months ago, and it was honestly beautiful and everyone was there. Anna cried. A lot. Even my mom showed up to give her blessing, but I think she was there for me because they all thought I was going to have a breakdown again.

Since you left us, they treat me like some fragile think, like I’m gonna break if they touch me the wrong way, but I know I’m much stronger now, so I think I can handle it. I wish I could see your face one more time. Dean, you just disappeared. You packed a bag with all of your things and left, not telling anyone where you were going, not even Jo, who by the way is finally dating Charlie, and they couldn’t be more happy. They’re all happy with each other, and I’m just sitting here, on your bedroom floor waiting for you to come home, thinking that maybe, _just maybe_ , you’ll come back to me. Like you did when we were younger.

_You look like a movie._

_“Dean what the fuck are you doing?”_

_“Well, you told me to leave so that’s what I’m doing” They were fighting over something Cas can’t remember, but it was stupid._

_“Yes, you can run away like you always do” in that moment, Castiel saw something in Dean’s eyes he couldn’t quite identify. Hurt, pain, anger. It might have one of those or all of them together; he was too scared to even think about it._

_“What do you mean ‘run away like I always do’? I leave every fucking time you tell me to because I understand that you want space, or at least that’s what I thought. I always do what you ask me to do because I fucking love you and you’re too afraid to feel the same, and this coming from me it’s ironic, cause usually, that’s what people tell_ me _. They expect the great Castiel to be the one who’s not afraid to fall for someone, to be the open one. That’s all bullshit, because you’re a coward. You’re scared to love me, you’re scared to say it out loud, because some people might hear it. But, Cas when you tell me to leave, I do because I’m scared that if you keep looking at me you’re going to realize that I’m a mess that isn’t worth trying to organize, but I’m telling you right now, Cas; love me or leave me;”  Dean turned away and left him speechless, with silent tears streaming down his face. Dean was all he ever wanted, everything he never thought he’d have, it was all so cliché, because Dean was perfect: he has the brightest green eyes, pink lips, tanned skin, blond hair. Castiel looked at him with so much fear; fear that he might not be worth it._

You see Dean, I always thought that you’d come back, when in fact, you never really left. Now you did. I guess you got tired of me, like I said you would.

_You sound like a song._

_“You’re gonna get tired of me” He said as he sat down under the tree by the lake with his boyfriend._

_“No, I’m not. Quit it, seriously.”_

_Dean would never get tired of that stupid boy with stupid messy hair and stupid blue eyes. He was his world, and sometimes he wondered what he did to deserve him. at night, his mom would go into his room and say “the angels are watching over you”. he started to believe that when he met Cas. He knew Cas would always be there for him, because that’s what angels do. He looked at Cas and felt bliss, heaven and peace, all at once. Like a song that didn’t have an end, like a Jimmy Page’s guitar solo. Cas was like his favorite song, sounded like it, even. With only one touch, he felt lighter. Love wasn’t something he felt every day, but since Cas came into his life, that’s all he knew. He was in love with that boy. How could a demon be in love with an angel?_

I honestly never thought we would ever be apart. Once in a week, I go visit Bobby, I know how much he means to you, and see if he has any news, anything. But, he never does. I still wait for you, I’ll always wait for you, you’re worth it.

Remember that day you came over at midnight because you were scared that a “wendigo” invaded your house? We went back to your house and searched in every room, but there wasn’t anything.

_My god, this reminds me of when we were young._

_“Dean what the fuck are you doing here? It’s 12:37 am.”_

_“Dude, I know, I have a watch. And I was s… I wanted to see you”_

_“Bullshit, what are you really doing here?”_

_“What? I really wanted to see you.”_

_“We saw each other seven hours ago”_

_“Yeah, but who’s counting anyway?”_

_“Spill it”_

_“Ok, so… I was talking to Lisa on the phone and” with the mention of that name Castiel´s stomach sank and he tried to force a smile “I heard something down stairs, and I was too scared to take a look because it was a fucking wendigo”_

_“What” he couldn’t hold back the laughter anymore, not with the annoyed look on Dean’s face._

_“Dude, what are you laughing at? I’m serious, you should be concerned about my safety, I could have died and you’d cry a lot because you L O V E me” Castiel felt his cheeks burning and he hid his face in his blanket._

_“I do not. And whatever loser, let’s go check it out”_

_When they came in the house, they locked the door behind them, walking side by side, holding hands, but they didn’t even realized that._

_“OK, should we split?”_

_“Dude, no way, someone always dies on the movies when they split”_

_“You do realize that this isn’t a movie, right?”_

_“Yeah, but someone could still die”_

_In the kitchen, they heard a noise that sounded like something scratching the back door._

_“I heard something in the kitchen, let’s see if there’s something there.”_

_The noise was coming from inside the cabinet, so Castiel decided to open it. “Can wendigos even fit in here?” Cas asked with an soft look on his face._

_“I really hope not”_

_When he opened, a cat got out of it making a sound that was almost like a scream of despair, but Dean screamed together, louder._

_“DEAN STOP SCREAMING IT’S JUST A CAT”_

_“Holy shit what the fuck was that” Dean said forcing a laugh._

_“That was you, screaming, scared of a cat.” Cas said laughing, looking at Dean, and in that exact moment, looking at his best friend laughing at him, he realized that he was in love with the boy that had the bluest eyes he had ever seen._

That was one of the best nights of my life, I can assure you. All of my best days and nights are with you, because you always made my life so much easier.

Remember our first kiss? Everyone started to laugh at us saying “finally”.

_When Cas got to the party, it had started a long time ago. Everyone was making out or getting drunk, or getting even more drunk. He finally located Dean, with a brunette in his arms, he came closer to see who it was, finding Lisa Braeden trying to kiss Dean._

_“Is it a bad time?”_

_“Cas! You’re here, finally, I thought you’d never come”_

_“Yeah, Gabriel kept begging me to bring him along, but I told him Sam wasn’t here”_

_“Ugh he has a crush on Sammy, tell him it’s never gonna happen, it would be gross.”_

_“Try telling him that.”_

_“So… Hm, can we – ugh – can we talk? Outside?” Dean asked uncertain of what he was going to say._

_“Uh, sure”_

_They sat under the tree, with loud music playing in the background – was it After Midnight? Something like it­ – Dean looking at Castiel, as if he was the most incredible human being in the universe, and for Dean, he was._

_“So, it’s been a long time since I’ve wanted to tell you this, and please don’t freak out, you don’t have to say anything, really. So just, listen to me, ok? I’ve come to realize that you’ve been with me since always, and well – Jesus, this is hard – I’m kinda in love with you?”_

_“You… ­Y-you’re asking me?” Cas asked confused and blushing, heart drumming in his chest._

_“NO, NO… I’m, I’m telling you that I’m in love with you and I’m sorry you don’t have to reciprocate or feel sorry for me, and…” Cas’s lips were on his and everything was ok with the world. it felt like drugs, it felt like gravity wasn’t there anymore, it felt like a dream. But then, everyone started to whistle and scream “FINALLY” and just Cas started laughing and he couldn’t stop, so Dean joined him, and they both just sat there, laughing at each other, as if they were the only ones in the world. At that moment, they actually were._

_“I feel the same.”_

I’ve loved you for a long time, and I’ll love you even longer, if it’s possible. I miss you every day, with every atom in my body. Missing you is like missing a part of myself: the best part of me. Nothing is the same. Dean please, come home. Everybody misses you, Ellen, Jo, Pamela, and even Gabriel.

I thought, that I couldn’t live without you, but I can, and that’s the worst part.

I also remember the day your parents passed away. You were so broken and so lost, wondering how you’ take care of Sammy.  You spent the night in the cemetery, next to their grave, and I was there with you, not even thinking about leaving you. it’s been 10 years since their death and I still remember like it was yesterday. You were so scared for Sam, wondering what would happen with him, not wanting to leave him with some stranger, so Bobby took care of you. Bobby and Ellen, and every person in our family, because you’re fucking important, because they love you so much, just like I do. Please Dean, please come back.

Getting up from the chair in the house that used to be his and Dean’s – still is, but Castiel never goes there – he left the note in the coffe table, and left.

The next day, someone opened the door, closing it behind him. slowly, he walked into the living room, catching a glimpse of a letter on the coffe table. He sat on the floor and read it, crying, and after reading, Dean realized it was time to come home to his beloved.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm back!! ! this song is based on the new adele song "when we were young", i had this idea after seeing a post on tumblr with this song in a gifset of han and leia [sad sigh] anyway hope you guys liked it!!


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